T4+Critical+Response


 * Literacy - Writing Sample**

My Writing is called 'It Used to be Green Once'

It is a Critical Response to a Short Story written by Patricia Grace

I wrote it as an example of how to critically respond to a character in a story.

One of my learning goals was to analyse a character from a short story and give evidence from the text to support my judgements and comments about the character.

I achieved this because I could give evidence on the character traits and where I got the evidence from. Also i could find a range of different character traits. I also could read the text pick out character traits and give evidence of where I found them out.

**Teacher Comment**

==== Rhys this is a good start to Critical Response writing. You have clearly identified different character traits that represent 'Mum' and given evidence from the text to back up your judgements. Your next steps will be to expand on your ideas and use elaboration to beef up your writing. The paragraphs are well sequenced and ideas are linked to main idea in paragraph. There has been good attention made with spelling and punctuation. ====

**It Used to be Green Once by Patricia Grace, an interesting character was Mum.**

Brain Storm on Mum - Critical Response


 * 1) Poor/ Resourceful She is very poor - Paragraph - 1 Page 57
 * 2) Tough - Page ..57 Paragraph 2
 * 3) Cruel / Mean - Page .. 58 Paragraph 4
 * 4) Shameless Page ... 58 Paragraph 4
 * 5) Criminal Page 59 .... Paragraph 1
 * 6) Rich Page .... 61 Paragraph 1

References to those words

Poor - Makes tog’s out of clothes (old clothes) Tough - Yells loud at her kids to get of the road Cruel - if the kids don’t get out to bed she pulls down there pants and sits them on the cold lino helper - likes to help her children have lunch when they are to poor to. checky - Doesn’t have licence and doesn’t care if cops pull her up neither a warrent Rich - They win 50 grand lotto

**Mum**

<span style="font: normal normal normal 14px/normal Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">It Used to be Green Once by Patricia Grace, an interesting character was Mum.

<span style="font: normal normal normal 14px/normal Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Mum is very different to my Mum and other Mum’s I know, she is very out of fashion because “she wears slippers and funny hats and dresses”.

<span style="font: normal normal normal 14px/normal Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Mum is a very resourceful person I know this because “she cuts up old clothes/ togs and puts red darns into them”. Also when the Dad came home with too ripe apples “ she cuts the rotten bits out and gives them to the kids for there lunch”.

<span style="font: normal normal normal 14px/normal Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Mum is also a very strict and tough person i know this because she “pulls her kids pants down and sits them on the cold lino”, she also “shouts at her kids to get off the road”.

<span style="font: normal normal normal 14px/normal Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">She is also a very caring/helpful person I know this because she “also goes down the road asking her friends what they want from the shop”. She also “cuts the rotten bits out of the apples for her kids”.

<span style="font: normal normal normal 14px/normal Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Mum is a very cheeky person because when her kids said you can’t drive you have no licence I know this because “ she says to her kids I have no licence and she says I don’t need one I can drive can’t I”.

<span style="font: normal normal normal 14px/normal Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Mum is also a shameless person I know this because “ she drove around in a rusty old car and wears funny clothes”. She is a very shameful to her kids because “ she drives down the road in her old car and shouts out the window at her kids”.